Everything that happens in our life has its reason. And the reason has its origin from our decisions.
And when you look back to the things that happen to you, you will recognize that it will belong to 1 in 2 ways, these are:
Decision — Choose to make your own.
Indecision — Not decide what to do and let fate decide for you.
Don’t make a decision is also a kind of decision. And it’s hurt.
“You are what you are today because of the choices you made yesterday, and the choices you make today will make you what you are tomorrow.” — Michael Josephson
When you choose the first way, you own 100% of our decision. And it means that if you choose wrong, you will get a valuable lesson, but this is your own.
However, when you choose the second way — Indecision. You are letting fate makes choice for you, and you lose control of your life.
And we all know that hesitating or making no decision is so far worse than having your own decision. But the reality is we normally choose to let fate decides for us when we need to come up with the decision in life.
Because it’s easier (or because you are afraid to make your own choice).
A clear example is when you choose to use the coin to throw in the air and choose the up or downside to make the decision instead of letting your mind decide it.
This is indecision and lets fate decide what to do for us.
Why do we love indecision?
Because it gives us a reason to blame if we fail.
As the game of coin that we use to decide what we should do.
For example, as I used it to decide if I should hang out with friends on Friday evening or spend that time to finish all my editing writing on medium.
Apart from my head said that I should spend time with my friends. While another part said that, you need to spend time on Medium if you don’t want to miss the deadline to publish the next day.
But the feeling of laziness and wanting to enjoy life rather than a sacrificed time for writing, I choose to use the coin game.
And normally, when you play the “indecision game”, you will come up with the worse option rather than a good one.
For me, as choose to use the coin game to decide if hang out with friends or stay at home to work on my blog writing. I get the result to hang out.
Even at the beginning, I just have around 1/3 thoughts that I will have fun on Friday with my friends, but that game gives me more motivation to go out and enjoy the party night.
It’s a good feeling for a moment, but when I wake up the next day, after being drunk. This is a terrible feeling when I have a headache of drinking too much and still have a lot of content waiting for me.
And in this case, my decision about “indecision” has a poor result for me, (and most of the time, when I let my “indecision” control, I get the worse result.
This is the reason why I always try to make the decision by myself as much as I can.
And actually, to make you become a decisive person, you need to have skills (It’s not just grown from the tree, for sure).
1. Listen to your mind and heart. Then making your own decision
Don’t let the “coin game” decide your choice.
Even the feeling to play the “decision game” with the coin is normally easier than using your heart and mind to do it.
But the coin game is riskier for us to play with, especially when you come to the important decision that makes you think for days and then don’t know what you should do (normally at this time, people start looking for help from “coin game”).
And it also the reason why you are easier to fall into the trap of failure. When your choice be decided by your coin side.
Listen to the heart and mind is what I do when I come to make 99,99% of decisions in my life. (The small 0,01% I like to do random coin game is when I have fun with friends to choose where to go or what to eat — the basic and daily demands for us to make it a little bit more surprised and interesting).
But to listen to your heart and mind then working on it is not an easy game. Life is full of distractions, and many times you will face the situation where your mind and heart said you should make decision A, while the others surround you said you should make B.
And most of the time, what others recommend for you is what works for them in their specific case, but for you, this is totally not fit.
What can be the best fit for your situation normally already have in your mind and heart, the importance here is will you ready to listen and work on what they recommend for you or not.
Let live your own life.
How To Practice it
Let practice this skill by making small and daily decisions firstly.
Let self-decision become your habit. It will help you to grow yourself to make bigger decisions better and easier.
If you all the time choose to make indecision or play the “coin game” to come up with your decision, you are building a habit for indecision which will let you to the bigger indecision in your life.
2. Always keep learning
The more you learn, the smarter ways you know how to deal with the options.
Because when you have more knowledge and experience, it’s easier for you to make the decision because you can recognize more options and know which one can be the best option for you.
It likes the story of Little Frog in the Well we read when we are kids. You will always feel that you can make the best choice from what you have in your mind.
But the world is bigger than the well for the Frog, as the better options are always available for you. The important thing is can you recognize it or not.
And keep learning is the best way to help you go out of your “little well” to discover the world and make better decisions for yourself.
How to do it
So how you should learn to make a better decision in your life.
There are 2 main ways that I’m doing right now and believe that these are the 2 best ways ever for me to do it (for you, maybe you even can figure out some other ways to do it more effectively for yourself, who know!)
Having more life experience
Traveling more, making more decisions, and working on more projects to learn from real experiences.
The lessons from real life will teach you more valuable lessons than just from your schools.
And it is easier for you to remember these lessons because they related to your emotions and actions in life.
It’s different from the lessons in schools, where you mainly just learn by heart from the book without adding emotion to these lessons.
Reading and listening to more content from successful people to see the ways how they make decisions.
Books, videos, and podcasts from successful people are great sources for any of us to learn about the way how to create success and make decisions in tough situations from the top leaders.
With just $5–$20 bucks, you can easily buy great books from famous leaders like Jack Ma, Tony Robbins, Elon Musk, Brian Tracy,…who give us their intelligence in solving the issues that take them years to learn.
It also gives you more motivation to have bigger ambitions and make your own decisions.
Recently I read the book called “What’s Your Genius” by Jay Niblick.
In his book, he said
Our thinking talents and decision-making styles comprise the very core of who we are.
They make us the unique individuals that we see in the mirror each morning, and they hold the greatest potential for delivering our greatest levels of performance and success.
As it teaches me a big lesson about the value of our decision when we come up with making choices.
It means that when you can make the right one, it will help you to explore the greatest potential and perform successfully at a greater level and show who you are.
You also can check more tips about learning with my other article here “6 Best Methods To Study Effectively, Study Smarter Not Harder.
3. Asking advice from the 3 most trustful and erudite in your life circle
And use their recommendations as good points to consider which decision you should make.
But make sure to make the final decision based on yourself, don’t need to fully 100% work on what these people comments.
So who you should take the advice from?
This is an important question you need to ask yourself. Because if you choose the wrong person to ask for advice, a better solution is don’t ask.
Because this person can lead you in the wrong direction and make you feel more confused about your option.
For me, I normally use this technique by asking the advice of 3 people who I most trust from 3 different environments.
It helps me to have a better view and easier to make a better decision. They will be
- One is my family member — Normally is my mother
- One of my best friends
- A close college
3 different circles in family, friendship, and life will give you a better view to make your decision. Because they are having different backgrounds and environments. So the angles they choose to give you also look very different and varied.
But it’s also very useful.
And most of the time, when I think that I just have the option “Do or Not Do” and ask advice from them. I find out a better option which is combined between “Do and Not Do” and make me the option to be more effective and I feel more comfortable when doing this option.
It’s hurt when you fail with your choice, but it will be more hurt if you know that you can do better and gain success instead of failing if you choose to make a decision instead of choosing indecision by playing the game as the “coin game”.
Choosing to make your own decision is always better than letting fate decide it for you.
And these 3 ways that I recommended for you here are what I did for myself for years. Even many times I fail with my choice, but I still feel happy as I consider them as my life lessons.
And these lessons come from my decision, not from the random game.
You can start to practice your habit of self-make decisions from these 3 methods
1. Listen to your mind and heart. Then making your own decision
2. Always keep learning
3. Asking advice from 3 most trustful and erudite in your life circle
Thank you for checking this blog, I am also running a Youtube Channel to share a lot of insights and stories related to Business, Media & Marketing, Personal Finance & Self Development that you can